HEAT WAVE

San Francisco. Hot. Never thought I'd use those two words in the same sentence.

BLEGH BUSES ON HOT DAYS.

It's pina colada time.

Start. Stop. Stall. Start Again.

I hate break-up blogs. I usually take down those posts because they're a little too personal, and not something I want the second party to find. And also, hey, I usually got back together with that particular person, but finally things have changed.

But I think that now, two months later, I have to turn to here to release some things I've noticed about myself. Not things I want to share with friends, but hey, the somewhat anonymity of the internet works better than nothing at all.

I think the past is better left unsaid. All the time I spent with this one person, and still I'm only half of the story. I just know I was unhappy. And even through the periods of doubt and loneliness, I know what I did was right.

Everyone should know the woes of a break up. However, that's not what I want to get at. Sure, the first weeks were toughest. But hey, time marched on and I got on to a month. And things finally got easier. I was always able to function, but I could finally do it less melancholy.

But I underestimated the utter devastation just contacting my ex could wreck on me. We went weeks of dead silence. Then there was a phone call. Wow. Tears baby. Rivers. On my side. I guess I underestimated that after a breakup a guy just moves right on to the next thing. It hurts a girl to realize that two years can be forgotten in a day.

But two months. I thought I was all better. At least working to the point of accepting dates again. Pain be damned! He's over, I'm over it.

Wrong. Phone call.


And the worst of it is throughout this break up I've discovered this dark, hurting part of me. The side that wants to cuss him out when he calls me up, nonchalantly. The part that wants him to hurt as much as me, that's crying for attention, that'll say mean things like, "I want you to never come back! I hate you!" It's seething and tormenting and sometimes it'll come out of the blue and taunt me. I do fine most of the time, but the days after contact with my ex it seems to resurface.

It's bottled up, but it's still there. And I hate it. I didn't want to be this girl full of hate. I want to love and be loved. So I'm acknowledging it. And I'm trying to work through it. Don't be that girl. Rise above it all.

My mother is funny

--- On Fri, 5/2/08, T. <******@hotmail.com> wrote:

From: T. <******@hotmail.com>
Subject: RE: Dinner
To: ******@yahoo.com
Date: Friday, May 2, 2008, 11:37 AM

Ok, here's what I'm thinking.

Appetizers:
Eggrolls
Som Tum
Chicken Satay

Main Dishes:
Pad Thai
Spicy Beef Salad
Tom Yum Goong

Dessert:
Tab Tim Grob
Fried Bananas

I have all of the packaged ingredients so all I need are the fresh ones. Is this enough to serve 15 people?

RE: Dinner

From: S. Smith (*****@yahoo.com)

Sent: Fri 5/09/08 6:36 PM

To: T. (******@hotmail.com)

here's what i'm thinking;

pb &j

saltines

water

Disgusting Current Affairs

DC Madam would have gotten 55 years for running a prostitution ring and that Fritzl is facing 15 for what he did to his daughter?

How is that even remotely fair?

Disgusting. He should be put to death.

Miss Murder

Tonight I saw the full harvest moon rise from Ocean Beach.

We had a smore party at a friend's house.

There were people and games.

We went shopping at the 24 hour Safeway after midnight.

I haven't had this much fun in ages. When I leave San Francisco I want to remember these moments.

School is Weird

So our school consists of a variety of art majors, such as fashion design, graphic and interior design, to animation and video game programming. We don't really get a lot of interaction between the majors unless it's a G.E. class.

Tonight's Japanese class is one of those classes.
The subject of discussion was of the usage of the verbs 'imasu' and 'arimasu.' The difference between them is whether or not the noun is an animate or inanimate object.

A cat is 'imasu.'

A television is 'arimasu.'

Etc.


Student raises his hand. He is a video game programmer. He asks, "What about zombies?"
....

The teacher, non-plussed, cheekily responds, "I have taught this class at this school for four quarters. I have been asked that question every quarter."

Callin' it Quits

Nickelodeon, I grew up with you. You gave me the best television entertainment of my youth and fostered my love of cartoons, which I would have gone into if not for the advance of 3D animation.

Alas, over the years you have deteriorated into this drab network with super-low quality programming like 'Tak and the Power of Juujuu' which is extremely BAD animation and 'Zoey 101.' It's the same formulas for all of your programs. And since the scandal of your huge money maker you have done nothing to remedy this; oh no her show goes on and now, NOW you have things like Fairly Odd BABY? Are you kidding?

So young kids, Nick wants you yo know kids are cute and will have no impact whatsoever on you having fun. Go have them. Early as possible.

Sheesh.

America, stop accepting this crap!

Don't try new things

Musk flavoured Lifesavers from Fiji.

NOT. PLEASANT. AT ALL.